I spent countless days and nights wondering how I rate as a parent. I kept a score which never seemed to level up with everyone else. No one saw this guilt which I kept buried within me. “Do I spend enough time with my kids”?. “Was I wrong to shout at them?” Or “do I show them how much they mean to me”? The questions kept washing over me like waves at sea. I saw images on social media of the ‘perfect family’ which further fuelled my fire and increased my vulnerability. 

Does this sound familiar?

I have yet to meet a parent who hasn’t felt “parent guilt”. Whilst it may look like everyone has it all together, the reality is very different! 

Why?

Parenting is an art. It requires the ability to listen, be patient, communicate, be non judgmental, understand, empathise, accept, forgive, to let go of ego, to be compassionate, be present and organised. Do I need to go on?!

Let’s not forget that this is only one aspect of our life. Now, add jobs, social life, family, travel, our own health and wellness it to the equation. You get the picture!

When we as parents have a list this long, how can we possibly expect “not” to slip up? We are going to make mistakes, it is inevitable. We are not going to tick all the boxes and that’s OK! We don’t have to beat ourselves up over it, nor do we have to punish ourselves. We are doing the best we can and that is good enough. 

It occurred to me that I was putting far too much pressure on myself to deliver in all areas of being a ‘great parent’. The pressure didn’t come from anyone but me! I had put pressure on myself from my own ideologies and beliefs, which had been passed down through generations. 

When I thought of parenting in this way, I gave myself the permission to get things wrong. I allowed myself to slip up from time to time and accepted that I was only human. The trick is to be responsible without punishing yourself ! It’s as simple as that!

Are you experiencing parent guilt? 

Do you lose sleep over what you “should” or “could” have done?

Are you comparing yourself with the image of perfection?

If you are experiencing any of these emotions, please get in touch as I would love to speak to you!