“We spend so much time focusing on the end result that we fail to see the journey it took to get there”

Cooking is the best way to unwind and allow your creativity to take centre stage. 

When I’m not locked away in my office working, you are likely to find me in the kitchen. I absolutely love cooking!

It was not always this way. When I got married, I did not know how to cook. Whilst living with my parents, my mother took care of the cooking. After getting married, I tried to replicate some of the dishes which my mum would prepare for me. Much to my disappointment, my cooking was nowhere near her league. 

One evening, I bravely thought I would cook dinner for the family. I was newly married and wanted to pull out all the stops to impress everyone. I prepared a meal with great difficulty based on trial and error. There was no internet back then so I couldn’t search for a recipe on google. 

The food looked ok and it smelt ok, how bad could it be?!

Everyone sat down at the table to eat. They complimented the food before tucking in. As soon as the food touched their lips, I could see the look on their face. The look said it all. “My cooking sucked big time”!

I never felt like I wanted to cook again. Not only did I not want to cook, I did not want to try!

In that moment, I felt like a disappointment and a failure. I had this vision of how it was supposed to be and that expectation was not met. This left me feeling unfulfilled and unappreciated. No one acknowledged the effort I had put in or the hard work and preparation. 

“No one acknowledged the journey, they only saw the result”

The journey

My daughter is working towards her exams, she has highlighted sections of her text book, recapped her notes and condensed information in to revision cards. She has been staying up late to ensure she has covered all of the content. If nerves get the better of her, she is likely not to sleep the night before the test.

“This is in spite of me reminding her that her exams do not define who she is”. 

Now can you imagine after putting in all that hard work and commitment, she does not get the grade she expects? How do you think she will feel?

It is my belief that she will feel the same way I did when I cooked that meal and didn’t get the response I was hoping for.

Now imagine that despite her efforts, I tell her that she could have done better. I tell her that if she put in more hours, she would have got even better results? How would she feel then?

It happens to all of us! We go to work and work on a deadline and don’t get the acknowledgment we desire. How does that make us feel? We work day in and day out trying to maintain a happy home and our efforts go unnoticed. How does that make us feel?

Now imagine our loved ones telling us that we could have done better? How would we respond?

It is not always about the end result. It is about the journey it took to get there. We focus so much on the result that we fail to acknowledge the journey. 

The result

I really don’t mind what grade my daughter brings home. I appreciate her for the effort she has put in. I acknowledge the journey it has taken to get there. It is my belief that even if she does not get the grade she wanted, she has put in the hard work, understood time management, learned organisational skills, developed a skill for note taking, been committed, been persistent, be dedicated and diligent. Why not focus on that?! Why don’t we congratulate our children for all of those achievements.

This is what we want from our employers, partner, family and friends. Right?!

I encourage you to focus on the journey and not the end result. The journey will teach us so much more than the end result.