One day you wake up with a sudden realisation that your mind is full of doubt. You know that something is wrong in your relationship, but you can’t seem to put your finger on it. Your intuition signals that you won’t make it to the finish line. What went wrong? How can you make it work?
Every relationship goes through periods of ups and downs. However, according to statistics few of these stand the test of time. Whilst the relationship may not end in divorce, individuals are often left feeling resentment and regret.
Communication is key in a relationship
I strongly believe that the root cause of destruction in any relationship is the sheer lack of communication. Both parties are aware of their feelings, however they fail to communicate these to each other. Suppressing these emotions, result in further frustration and distress. A series of assumptions further fuels the fire and the outcome over time, leads to mental and physical separation.
Once that physical and mental separation is created, one party usually withdraws from the relationship by showing little or no interest. Conversations between the couple often appear brief and with no emotion. Over time, doubts grow as trust weakens. The lack of intimacy can sometimes present questions of a possible external relationship. The partner can be left feeling anxious, vulnerable and lack confidence in their appearance.
The emotional stress which comes with the elephant in the room, cannot be underestimated. The atmosphere during such animosity could be cut with a knife. What couples often fail to see is that whilst the relationship is primarily between two parties, the impact of separation can have ramifications on the life of others.
Take action
In the event that you sense that your relationship is falling off the wagon, take immediate action! Do not wait or assume. First and foremost, create the space to speak with your partner. Engage in a conversation which is open and honest, allow yourself to be transparent. Give each other the space to talk freely and be present. Actively listen to what is being said and listen to what is not being said. Avoid any confrontation, instead engage in a discussion based on understanding and patience.
Be open to acceptance. Be open to change! If your relationship has derailed, there will be a valid reason behind it. Get to the bottom of that reason and find creative solutions which enable you to move forward together.
Relationships take work, the person you dated years ago will not be the same person standing in front of you today. By the same token, you are also not the same person they once dated. Give each other the freedom to evolve and find ways to adapt.
Don’t give up without putting in the work. The person you fell in love with is still there!
I work with clients who feel like their relationships have derailed. I coach them to explore ways in which they can reconnect with themselves and each other. Drop me a message if you would like to arrange a chemistry call.
